Judgemental

Boleh mengadu tak kat sini..

Hmm. I don't really know what to expect. Being a committee lots of clubs and societies had turn me into a very judgmental person. I know that's the beauty of it. To discover many new persons with vary and different personality. But somehow, I can only see the ugly and hideous part of it. 

I'm not an outspoken and frank person. So for most of the time I'll endure everything by myself. Sometimes, what I ask is a little bit of understanding and... cooperation. I don't understand which part of it that was so hard to carry. I even literally beg them for sympathies. Many times had I lowered my ego and pride. But why did I feel like someone was mocking me behind.

I know, sometimes I was a bit carried away and bossy. But I did that for a good reasons. 

I too have my own responsibility. I have my own classes that I had to catch, assignments that I had to finish and other societies that I had to attend and commit to but it was never an excuse. In what term was your life was more busy that mine I would never know but that is not an excuse. 

I myself is currently working on on 5 projects all at once. But I don't remember myself skipping any society's hi-comm meeting. I manage my assignments well. Because I rather to trouble myself than others with jobs I'd assigned to do. With this lack of commitment, I fear what to expect in the future. I even doubt that the event we'd planned will turn out well.

I'm not the project manager nor am I the assistant project manager but why did I the only one that was being too pushy. Of course I am. How can I not be when it was me that'd been asked by Hajah Aluyah about the paperwork progress. 

Huhhh. I hate to deal with this type of person. Now I'm being judgmental. Do not volunteer for a post you can't commit with if you're just going to behave this way. It trouble me physically and mentally. It do.

I almost burst out, lucky I still can contain myself.

* me during meeting be like...

February Ramdomness

It'd been a very long long time since I last update. Busyyy sangat busy. Or to be precise, actually I'm the one who kept busying myself. With the volunteering program, charity work, and the society thingy. Not to mention my coursework, assignment and presentations. But, being busy is fun. At least I didn't wasting my time doing something I shouldn't.

My housemate once said,

'Mana korang dapat tahu pasal event volunteer ni semua? Sebeb korang carilah kan. 

Aku tak cari pon sebab aku tak kesah.'

Yeah lucky you to say that since you're the vice pres of XXXX. Not to bad mouthing her. But, I felt insulted in a way. Maybe I don't have any specific rank or tittle in the college society. But, at least I know my responsibility to contribute to the 'real' society. Not just academical purpose society. Either way, both of our like are needed. 

Else??

I began to hate psychology. Last semester, psychology used to be one of my favorite. But now, I just can't digest any of it. I don't know how to put it into words. But for a sane people like me to learn and accept a ridiculous theory from a mentally problematic old man, that's just not wise and stupid to do.

Psychodynamic approach you say. There's no other approach that is more better than the islamic approach itself. Now why aren't we studying that?? I'm curious. 

For me to listen to a lecture for hours about how Freud and his oedipus complex theory explain the nature of human behavior made me consider that maybe I should just sleep.

***

Okay so this one happen on the 18th of feb. We had gather all the ALKISAN-INTEC students though not everyone were available. This meeting had gather the all four generations of alkisan in intec, batch 55, 56, 57 & 58. Seronok dapat gather sesama balik. Masing-masing tunduk je bila nak cakap. Segannn. Tapi yang paling rindunya bila semua guna 'term' kat kisas dulu. Muslimin muslimat, ana antum. Nak balik kisas balik :'(

ada yg kena crop. siapa lah yg amek gambar ni =,='

And disebabkan semangat dan tercabar dgn permintaan abang2 yang suruh kitorang turun subuh jemaah dekat surau and naik bas first pergi INTEC, minggu depan tu terus kitorang buat minggu KPTI. Bajet bajet macam kat kisas dulu lah kan. hehehe. KPTI stands for 1) Kem pemantapan tarbiyah islam 2) Kem pengaplikasian tarbiyah islam 3) Kem pengenalan tarbiyah intec. Pilih lah yang mana2 kan. Semua pon boleh. Tapi betul lah kan. Asik kata nak tarbiyah orang, patutnya diri kita dulu kita tarbiyah. Sediakan mutabaah amal untuk orang lain buat, tapi mampu ke kita nak buat. 

Harapnya alkisan intec semua mampu istikomah sampai bila-bila. Biarlah produk bumi waqafan ni sekurang-kurangnya meninggalkan bekas bila dah terbang nanti. Bekas yang terkesan dekat semua hati-hati. Bekas yang akan sentiasa diwarisi dan diteladani. In Shaa Allah.

***

Next, I'd been to skytrex too. Whoooh. It was really exciting and tiring. I hate that one part when my body was ache all over right after we got back. I had to suffer for 3 days and I wonder was it really worth it. Okay thought of it in the positive way. At least I know that I'm not that 'fit'. And, it's a good bonding sessions too since we got two new classmates this sem. I hope syauqi and yasmin will be more comfortable around us as they did with their old ones.

 *they kept saying 'benatek' which I not know what does it means.

but still, happy face guys :)

***

The next day, I had 1M4U volunteering program in petaling jaya. I don't know how I end up here. We were assigned to watch on different checkpoint and unfortunately I chose the longest and was frequently causing problem to us volunteer. Besides that, I learned very few about new things and a lot on people attitude and manners.

I know being a volunteer means that you are willing to do what you were assigned to do. That you will not ask for return. But, we know what the word 'tired' means and we also do feel one. So, please feel us. Ughh, that's sounds creepy don't take it wrong.

I also wonder, when did all the volunteers break for solat. Cause I didn't see anyone except for me and uya that quietly slips away and went to the surau nearby. At first, kitorang curi-curi pergi surau time zohor. Pastu, bila masuk asar saje je mintak kebenaran nak pergi surau dengan harapan diorang terasa ke.. or maybe diorang pon join ke.. tapi hampeh. Dahlah dekat surau tu ada aircond, siap sempat tidur 15 minit lagi tuh. Hehehe.

And I also can't understand why did they want to be volunteer if they only sat under the tent. I know it was super hot. The temperature was like 35 degree on the noon. And it didn't even drop on the evening. But, what did you expect at first?? Just because the management were not strict on us didn't mean we can take them for granted. They expect you to serve, to work, so please do.

*they claim that my face might be broadcast on the japanese tv station,

so hye japan :)

***

Ape lagi nak citer.. and this month most of our lectures going to pursue their study in master. So we were left on our own. But it's fun though. Although we only met in a very short time. There's lots of things that we had learn from them, and I'm sure they also learned a lot from us too.

Thank you sir sebab tahan kerenah kitorang ni ha. And sorry sebab banyak tido. huhu

Bye sir Amu. Jumpa kitorang kat UK nati.

*dah mana muka sir?? muka korang je yg gedabak  =.='

Class portrait!!! Yeah even though I didn't buy it, but it still has my face in it. uhuhu. And I also didn't see the need to buy it since we already had it in our phone camera. So guys, say cheeessseeee....

And during this period also, some of our concern classmates got their blood donor to the needy. Actually, I also try to donate. But when the doctor weighed me, he sees me on the eyes and said, 'you can't donate your blood since you weight is below 45'. 'But doctor, can't I donate even though I'm physically fit'. 'No, because your blood volume actually proportioned to your weight'.

So that would mean I'll lose my weight if I donate my blood. So, lepas dah penat2 isi borang derma darah dengan semangatnya aku pon campak borang tu ke lantai pijak pijak sampai lumat. Hahaha menipu. Taklah, lepastu kitorang pergi booth 'psychological test'. Meriah sangat ramai orang. Of course lah kan bila ada satu test tu pasal ujian gaya bercinta. Ni yang lemah cakap pasal cinta ni kann. Nangis kejap :'(

Dikejauhan itu lebih baik,

Dilindung rasa itu lebih baik,

Disimpul mati itu lebih baik,

Jadi tuhan,

Jadikanlah aku yang lebih baik.

Tata feb..